Feels Good to be Back

There's something i have never mentioned to anybody before. I have been thinking for a long time should i write it out and i think i can do it.

So, I was lost. I cut myself off from everybody i know except my family and just one friend since August 2009. I ignored my previous maid's CNY greetings, I ignored wedding invitation from an ex-colleague. I never pick up phone calls from anybody that my phone bills are so cheap every month. Except from my siblings, I never received smses at all but only once in a while from a friend. I think i did a great job cos i made everyone forget that i ever existed.

During this period of time i developed Telephone Phobia. I'm scared each time my phone rings. I hate private calls and i always question in my mind what do these people want from me? Apart from that i also suffered a little Social phobia. I lost the confidence to walk on streets.

Finally after 10 months later, i went on a new job and now that i pick myself up again, it feels good. But I'm afraid that i might lose it again if i decided to quit the job anytime soon. I'm also afraid that i can't mix well with people, young people.... I have never mix with them before, and i don't really like to mix around.

I'm not depressed, i just didn't want to talk to anybody else. But i felt guilty to some people whom i blocked in MSN, they're the few who talked to me the most. Anyway, i made myself quit MSN and Facebook for a very long period of time only until recently. I do not know how to contact them again and i think i need to apologise to them.... Sorry, maybe later.

I'm not afraid of the phone anymore. I'm now able to answer phone calls without any hesitation.... I am able to walk on streets without thinking that people are despising me anymore but I'm still not really liking the idea of mixing around with people.

By the way, i enjoyed being solo all this while....